unopened box of obnoxious sticky notes

Found: on my bookshelf. Bottom shelf, under a pile of old burned CDs.

Sizes: various.

Count: 600.

Messages: “DO” (with check boxes for “deliberated,” “delegated,” “dillydallied,” and “did”), “NOTE” (“nailed,”
“nixed,” “noted”), “FILE” (“filed”), “READ” (eyeball pictogram), “SEND” (envelope), and “BURN” (a flame).

Possible uses: making notes, leaving reminders, doodling, creating clutter, putting a sticky on something you’re about to throw away, thus increasing amount of waste, or on something you’re about to file, thus reducing the space in your filing cabinet by 1/1,000,000,000th of an inch.

Current uses: holding up a pile of old burned CDs.

Manufacturer’s intended use (assumed): to make gift-givers giggle and purchase box of 600 tiny notes to stuff into Christmas stockings.

Decision: open and scatter around the house, for uninterrupted note-making potential.

—–

Addendum: the copy on the reverse of the box, with [added commentary].

Since the 1980s Post-it revolution [the fields ran yellow with very brief manifestos], there has been no such thing as too many stickies […until now!]. Now this indispensable commodity finds both wit and a desk-friendly tray for a true marriage of function and form. [I fail to see how “wit” {which takes up space on my sticky note that I could otherwise use for manifestoing} and a teal cardboard “desk-friendly tray” have anything to do with the “function and form” of a small, stickable piece of notemaking genius. #ifitaintbroke.]

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