razor handle (ten-minute sketch)

A Gillette Mach 3 Turbo disposable-blade razor handle, mailed to me without charge or solicitation at age 14 in what is perhaps the most ingenius marketing ploy I have ever fallen for.

Found: in my bathroom cabinet, next to six four-blade three-blades-per-blade boxes of disposable blades.

Cost: free.*

Uses: shaving, deterring me from purchasing cheap, single-use disposable razors.

Decision: put it back in the cabinet and use it tomorrow. I just bought a year’s worth of blades.

*though this magically mailed-to-me “free” grooming implement has since motivated the purchase of several hundred disposable blades, each costing between $1-2, depending on whether I get them at Costco or CVS.**

**However. Each blade is good for probably 4-5 shaves minimum, at least on my particular face. Each super cheap disposable razor I buy lasts me one shave and a face of cuts and scratches*** before I have to toss it for fear of bleeding out. So, I think I at least break even, if not come out ahead. And I generate less trash. Win.

***However again, I would probably be better at shaving if I learned with a crappy, mercilessly cut-you, penny-a-dozen disposable rather than this cushy, “lubricating strip”-sporting, “pivoting razor head”ed “triple threat.”

Way to go, Gillette–I’m so hooked, I’m rationalizing.

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